- December 20, 2024
-
-
Loading
Loading
Cleanses are meant for people who have never tasted real food.
It’s no secret that I’m a lover of all foods terrible for my health.
If it was up to me, my diet would consist the same basic snacks that a 7-year-old would consume when the babysitter fell asleep. Vanilla ice cream with hot fudge, pizza-flavored Goldfish Crackers and buttered popcorn are the top culprits on my unhealthy habits list.
It’s not that I don’t like healthy foods. But if there’s a choice between waffle fries at Chick-fil-A and a pile of lettuce (a.k.a. a salad), I’m obviously indulging in some fries.
My fatty and sugary decisions are usually based on a lack of time. Some days I don’t have a hour to break for lunch so I make a quick stop at my girl Wendy’s place.
Other days, I have all the time in the world to eat healthy. But I know life is short, so I tell myself it’s okay to have a Halloween sized bag of M&Ms for dinner. Better to go out with a bang, than a banana.
Meals like that don’t come with a lot of benefits, other than a few minutes of instant gratification. But since that doesn’t help with bikini body season, I figured it was time for my diet to get a little greener.
Like the majority of my life-changing ventures, I started with a Pinterest search. There were tons of diets that encouraged a gluten-free, paleo plan that would leave my tummy flat in six to eight weeks. Six to eight weeks?! How exactly am I going to make it through the rest of the summer season without a burger and fries? There was just no way I would last that long.
A few people suggested juicing but I don’t hate myself enough to go through that torture.
Finally, I stumbled upon something a little more reasonable: a seven-day cleanse using fruits, vegetables and lean meats. I would even get to eat a baked potato on the second day! That’s almost like a waffle fry. Almost.
I made my way through Publix, filling my cart with all sorts of healthy goodies like bananas, tomatoes, celery and turkey. The first three days were just fruits and vegetables so I made sure to stock up.
It was Saturday and I was going to start my cleanse on Sunday, so obviously that called for a pre-celebration. I ate fries, sugary cereals and a ton of shredded cheese, straight out of the bag. I went to bed with a bloated tummy and a head full of flat-ab dreams.
The first day, fruit only, was tougher than expected. Though I was all smiles when I had my watermelon for breakfast, not even an hour passed by before I was hungry again. So I munched on some cantaloupe and peaches for the rest of the day. My appetite might have quieted down, my mood was anything but content. Only one day and I was already coming up with excuses on why a bag of popcorn wasn’t that bad.
But I reminded myself that I have a tendency to never follow through with any health plan so I wanted to see this through.
Writing this, I’m on day two and have stuck to eating a variety of vegetables all day. But I did get a baked potato (don’t worry, it was in the diet plan). When things get rough, and I start to get a little depressed, I just remind myself that it’s only a week long.
And I’ll get a tasty reward — and maybe even a flatter stomach — at the end.
