- December 20, 2024
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I feel closest to my father when I’m spending his money.
A few weeks ago, I had the best intentions for Father’s Day 2014. I didn't want to give him same old golf shirt or a gift card to Outback Steakhouse (that I would later use). I wanted to give him something he would remember.
Originally, I was going to decorate a mug with one of his many thought-provoking quotes like “I love myself” or “I am the king.” But it rained cats and dogs everyday this past week, so it was impossible to get off my couch. I did make it to Books-A-Million during one of the few hours of sunshine to buy him a copy of Jim Gaffigan’s new book “Dad is Fat.”
When Father’s Day did role around, I didn’t wake up in panic. My gift procrastination is without a doubt a trait I get from my father. So he understood that I had to make a quick trip to Target before we began celebrating.
My mom, who probably bought Dad’s gift last June, does this thing I call the “one more rule.” Though she always finds the perfect gift way before it needs to be given, she gets this weird impulse to pick up one more thing the day of the event.
But I never complain because her “one more rule” helps me get away with my “I’m lazy and forgot rule.”
What I didn’t expect was my mom to slip me Dad’s credit card before I walked out the door. By now, she really should know better.
I was given the mission to get Dad a Fitbit, which is one of those expensive fitness tracking monitors that tells you how many steps you’ve taken and how well you sleep. Really, I was told to get two because my mom has another rule called “if Dad gets one, I get one too.”
As soon as I stepped foot into Target, I knew I was leaving with more than just a pair of Fitbits. Browsing the colorful items in the dollar section, I found a neon pink dry erase board I couldn’t live without and a triple outlet adapter that I absolutely needed. Twenty minutes later my cart was filled with a fedora, a few shirts, some books I had been wanting to read and a box of Atkins bars because all this shopping was making me hungry.
As I made my way down the final aisle I came face-to-face with a rack of glaring Father’s Day cards. Most daughters were giving their dads’ messages of love and appreciation and I was giving mine a bill.
This Father’s Day was not only going to be unoriginal but also unnecessarily expensive. And with Dad being the numbers nerd that he is, no purchase on his card goes unnoticed.
So, I reluctantly put back the majority of my purchases (except the outlet adapter, dry erase board and fedora because those are obvious necessities) and picked up a few more gifts for Pop that he would actually enjoy.
Even though he didn’t get the creative, unique gift I had planned, at least he didn’t get a lengthy Target receipt.
Baby steps, people. Baby steps.