But, but, it's not hyperlocal!


  • By
  • | 3:00 a.m. May 13, 2014
  • Palm Coast Observer
  • Opinion
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A car leaves the L section of Palm Coast traveling 65 mph. At a point 59 miles north, a hamburger patty hits a grill with a surface temperature of 450 degrees Fahrenheit. There’s a slight crosswind.

No, that’s not some demented word problem resurrected for the sole purpose of haunting you for cheating in seventh grade pre-Algebra, but rather, a simple reminder that’s there’s an NFL franchise located less than an hour from Palm Coast.

And oh yeah, they had a draft last weekend.

But why should the average resident of Palm Coast care about the Jacksonville Jaguars? I’ll give it the old (one year removed from) college try.

-There’s only 32 of them — NFL franchises — in the whole world. Most people in the country can’t leave home at 11:45 a.m. on any given Sunday in the fall, surrender hundreds of dollars in parking, merch, and tickets to a gigantic corporation (okay, not the best sell), and park their keisters in a roaring stadium before a 1 p.m. kickoff. If you live in Palm Coast, you can.

- The Jags roster features the last two relevant quarterbacks from the University of Michigan in Chad Henne and Denard Robinson. Only one is still playing QB. Intriguing, no? If so, pick up a copy of John U. Bacon’s “Three and Out.” Look, we’re even promoting functional literacy here!

-Jacksonville has a third-year, billionaire owner — Shad Khan — who sounds like he’s descended from a proud line of fierce Mongol warriors.

And with that, here’s a quick primer on the draft.

Jacksonville selected former UCF quarterback Blake Bortles with the No. 3 overall pick in the first round. He’s big (6-foot-5), vaunted (led the Knights to consecutive bowl game wins in the past two years), and all-around dreamy to the guys who make these types of decisions.

It’s not like those measurables are comparable to (2011 first-round pick) Blaine Gabbert or anything. Actually they are — with hand size, height, weight, and arm length between the two passers matching almost exactly. Just saying.

The Jags brass followed up the Bortles pick by grabbing two receivers — USC’s Marqise Lee and Penn State’s Allen Robinson. At least Bortles won’t have the same built-in excuses (no one to throw to) that Gabbert did.

I’m going to talk our Executive Editor — Brian McMillan — into covering the Jaguars this season. Get in his ear about it if you have the chance. It’ll be worth it. Trust me.

 

 

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