- February 24, 2025
In honor of the 51st birthday of my favorite person in the universe, here’s 51 lessons I’ve learned from my mom.
1. If you don’t clean your bathtub, you’re basically a hobo.
2. Boys who make you cry usually aren’t worth crying over.
3. Don’t chase after animals that run away. They know where the food is.
4. How you dress affects your mood (“So stop wearing baggy shirts Emily”).
5. Never give up on family.
6. Goodwill is just as good as Gucci.
7. Being able to laugh at yourself is more powerful than you might think.
8. You can only get a good night’s sleep when you’re surrounded by 80 pillows.
9. If you’re sad, you deserve a milkshake.
10. If you’re happy, you also deserve a milkshake.
11. It’s totally acceptable to quote yourself.
12. You can never have too many pairs of shoes.
13. Don’t buy a jacuzzi unless you’re sure it works.
14. If you feel like you want to redecorate, just rotate your living room furniture around until it feels new.
15. You’re allowed to have fun and act silly, no matter how old you are.
16. It’s okay to believe your horoscope only when you like what it says.
17. Pets are cuter when they’re fat.
18. If you’re stressed out, you probably just need an attitude adjustment.
19. You don’t have to be a teenage girl to enjoy Miley Cyrus.
20. A walk on the beach can cure almost anything.
21. Holidays with family are better when there’s wine.
22. You can also never have too many beauty products (even when they’re taking up your husband’s side of the bathroom, ahem).
23. Reality shows with a lot of women yelling are usually the best ones.
24. You’re not an adult until you learn how to cook.
25. Strength is measured by your ability to love despite the disappointments and setbacks.
26. Coffee made by someone else always tastes better.
27. Creating family traditions is important, even when they’re forced.
28. Appreciate what you have while you have it.
29. You can find humor in any situation.
30. Worrying about what other people think of you is pointless because people are only worried about themselves.
31. The best way to win an argument is to continuously talk until the other person goes to sleep.
32. A little laundry a day keeps you from having nothing to wear.
33. Don’t go to the store alone unless you want to be kidnapped.
34. How you spend your time becomes who you are.
35. You can make any place feel like home (even a garage).
36. We teach people how to treat us.
37. The only person a dog truly loves, is the one who feeds him.
38. Don’t drive like a crazy person, you’ll hydroplane.
39. Generosity shouldn’t be limited to those we know.
40. Retail therapy is a real thing.
41. The best part about having kids is being able to play with Legos again.
42. Never chase perfection.
43. Don’t invest time in people who don’t invest in you.
44. No matter how much you dislike someone, it’s just easier to try get along.
45. Close girlfriends are a necessity.
46. Moms have adapted and can now scold/shame you via Twitter.
47. Coming up with great ideas isn’t the same thing as actually pursuing them.
48. Give more than you take.
49. Friends aren’t your friends if they never offer to drive.
50. Rain is a good enough reason not to go out.
51. No matter where you are or what you’ve done, your mom will always come pick you up and buy you a milkshake.
