- November 28, 2024
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In a room full of children attending an anti-bullying seminar, Sensei Dave Grabner asked if any of them had ever been bullies. At first, nobody raised their hand.
He then talked about the different types of bullies, specifically those who passive aggressively use emotions to always get their way. Grabner explained to the children that it’s like when your parents want you to eat your vegetables, and you whine and complain until you don’t have to.
When asked again if they might be bullies, everyone’s hands went up. Though the kids didn’t admit to it at first, none of them were going to say they ate their broccoli.
The lightheartedness of the evening at Villari’s Martial Arts of Ormond Beach was completely on purpose, used as a way to ease into a heavy conversation between parents and their kids.Volusia County Sheriff's Office Sergeant Jonelle Hillyard said kids don't like to talk about bullying with adults, because they're afraid the situation will worsen if they intervene.
"Kids don't realize that when adults intervene, the bulling usually stops," she said. "A lot of times the kids aren't even aware of what they're doing. But if parents don't know about it, then we can't do anything."
Grabner described three types of bullies to the kids: the aggressive bully, the casual bully and the passive aggressive bully. It's good to be able to identify what kind of bullying you're dealing with, so you can better understand how to react. For example, with the aggressive bully you might need to learn how to physically block yourself from an attack, but with a casual bully, you might only need to focus on lightening the situation.
The idea for the seminar was started because Grabner wanted kids to learn how to stand up and protect themselves. He also said that with the internet and cyber bullies, things have really gotten out of hand these days.
"If someone calls you a name, is what they're saying true?" He asked the students. The majority shouted "No."
"Are you still afraid?" Heads shook "yes."
"Is that okay?" Grabner was then met with some blank stares. "Of course it's okay. You're allowed to have feelings. It's how you react with those feelings that matters. They're only trying to get a reaction out of you."
This program is a part of the national organization Creative Connections through the Martial Arts. Learn more at aboutcreativeconnections.org.
