- November 7, 2024
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More than 15 years later, the worst coaching instructions I’ve ever heard still lingers in my head.
While serving as a water boy for my cousin’s high school football team, I heard the defensive line coach instruct one of the players to crawl between the opposing player’s legs in front of him to prevent the running back from scoring at the goal line. I highly doubt his coaching career extended beyond that year.
But, while I may hear anything as insane as that command, I often chuckle at some of the outlandish coaches and “spectator coaches” who demand athletes to maneuver against opponents in their perspective sport in ways that could only be done, if they were competing against mannequins.
Before I laugh at some of you, I just want to admit that I’ve also barked weird orders at some of the athletes I’ve wanted to succeed, but I think I’ve learned my lesson.
We’ve all been at a football or basketball game, when we hear a teammate or someone sitting next to us yell, “steal the ball!” or “just run around him!” While I know it’s not factual, I’m 100% certain that if a basketball player could steal the ball or a football could run around someone, they probably would. The problem is the pestering opponent who has every intention to keep your favorite athlete from doing those things.
My favorite type of mannequin coaching takes place on the wrestling mat. At a wrestling match, you will hear coaches, teammates and spectators frequently yelling instructions to their wrestler. I always wonder, “Do they not realize he’s probably trying that, but there is someone else out there who won’t allow it?”
Then, after the match is over or a football play has finished, athletes get bombarded with “Why didn’t you just snatch the ball?” or “All you had to do was flip him over and pin him” or this or that.
Having made this aware, some of you will be more conscious of your desire to mannequin coach in the future. Let me know when it happens, and, if you feel bad for it, you can always apologize to your favorite athletes.
