- October 31, 2024
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When a moderator polled attendees on how they felt about the county's first Suicide Awareness Town Hall May 24, then displayed their answers in a word cloud on an overhead screen, one word stood out: "Hopeful."
The event, which drew about 100 people to the Flagler County Association of Realtors building on State Road 100, was a response to the county's most unfortunate distinction: Year after year, Flagler County has the highest, or one of the highest, suicide rates per capita of the 67 counties in Florida.
The town hall was organized by Flagler Cares, moderated by School Board Member Colleen Conklin — a longtime advocate for suicide awareness — and featured a panel discussion including mental health experts and people with a personal or family history of attempted suicide, the distribution of pamphlets and cards that list local and regional mental health resources, and tips for individuals who are thinking about suicide or are concerned that a friend or family member might be.
Conklin began the event by confirming or dispelling, through a true-or-false pop quiz, some myths about suicide:
Is depression more common than AIDs, cancer and diabetes combined, with nearly 45,000 Americans dying by suicide every year, and more than 500,000 visiting a hospital for injuries from self-harm? True.
Are teens are at greatest risk for suicide? False — middle-age adults are.
Is depression always the cause of suicide? False.
Is suicide more common now than in the past? False, although youth are more at risk now than 50 years ago.
Palm Coast Mayor Milissa Holland keynoted the event, recounting her mother's death by suicide in 2007. Holland said she'd been preparing to play golf when she got a phone call to come over to her mother's house because something had happened.
"It happened as if it was in slow motion. I walked into her house and saw a lot of deputies standing there," Holland said. Holland, contravening their advice, walked to her mother's room and saw her mother on the floor, surrounded by family photos.
"You just feel like you can’t breathe," Holland said.
For years, Holland's mother had sought help for her bipolar disorder, sometimes disappearing for weeks for inpatient treatment when Holland was young.
"The insurance would kick it back after 30 days, and then she would come home, because mental illness is not recognized like diabetes or cancer or multiple sclerosis," Holland said. "And yet, she went and tried to get help year after year after year."
Stigma contributed to the pain.
"She felt shame each and every day; she felt different," Holland said. "Most of us who have dealt with situations like this can tell you the desperation we felt trying to help people who can’t help themselves. ... These are individuals that deserve our attention and our cooperation and our collaboration and our resources to work on their behalf."
Deanna Oleske, the associate medical examiner for the district that includes Flagler County, has seen 150 suicide deaths from Flagler since 2012.
"It has been continuously increasing every single year," she said. "For every one drug overdose in Flagler County, I will have five suicides. ... I realize sometimes I’ve had a suicide every single day, at least one, for a month."
Flagler Cares Executive Director Carrie Baird presented the results of a resident survey about health. Almost half of the 966 respondents, 49.1%, selected mental health as their top health concern; the next highest choice was addiction and substance abuse.
Sandra Shank, CEO of the teen group home Abundant Life Ministries, had first attempted suicide after she was raped while serving in the military at age 18, she told audience members.
"I can tell you that 33 years later, there are days that the journey is very difficult," she said. However, she added, "My passion is the direct result of my pain. ... This is one of the moments for which I survived."
Michael Crisanto, a regional suicide prevention specialist who holds a masters degree in clinical psychology, summarized the interpersonal-psychological theory of suicidal behavior developed by psychologist Thomas Joiner, telling attendees that there are three elements that contribute to a significant risk that an individual will attempt suicide: a sense of thwarted belongingness, perceived burdensomeness, and the capability for suicide.
That capability, he said, can increase for people who are regularly exposed to trauma or who have a heightened capacity to tolerate physical pain.
"The more we experience trauma, the more we experience violence, the less afraid we become to die," Crisanto said.
A study that tested the pain tolerance of suicide survivors in contrast to people who had not attempted suicide, Crisanto said, had found much higher tolerance for pain among the survivors. That's one of the reasons that self-harm is a warning sign, he said: It desensitizes people to pain.
Another risk factor, he said, is alcohol or drug consumption, because both increase impulsivity.
Crisanto recalled the story of Don Ritchie, an Australian man who for 45 years lived beside a cliff in Sydney called The Gap, which attracted people who wanted to jump to their deaths.
Ritchie would approach them and try to begin a conversation, sometimes drawing them back to his home for tea. He is credited with saving 160 lives.
"So, what can we all do?" Crisanto said. "It could be as simple as asking how they’re doing and really being there for that person. That’s something that can instill hope."
If you suspect that someone might be considering suicide, he said, go ahead and ask them.
"Someone’s either thinking about suicide or they’re not thinking about suicide; asking that question isn’t going to be what changes their mind," he said.
And if they are thinking about suicide, he said, often just talking and having someone listen helps. He also suggested trying to gain some information: Does the person have a plan? Do they have access to lethal means?
If the answer to both questions is yes, they need immediate help. If they're not willing to go with you to a facility, they may need to be brought to a crisis center by law enforcement under the state's Baker Act. If they don't have a plan or access to lethal means, connecting them to resources can help.
Holland said that her mother's death had forced her to "take a really hard look at what that meant for her and how lonely that may have felt in that room in her bedroom that night when she made that decision."
Holland hopes the Flagler community can help people realize that they have support.
"I don't want to hear ... stories from the School District of another student that's taken their life, or somebody in our community that has struggled with a lifetime of health issues that is just done, because they're tired," she said. "We cannot stand up here and judge what is right and wrong for people dealing with different situations in their life. But what we can do is come together as a community and focus on initiatives that will help support one individual at a time."
